Questions & Answers April Style
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
*finger calisthenics are a proven method of eking out that last battery juice *
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
*because they can*
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
*because humans are inherently contrary and can't pass up a cartoon moment *
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
*next question*
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
*flat / edgy jungle rocks ( gee whiz do I gotta splain it all) & banana lather *
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
*hey, now--poultry allergies can take down the best of us *
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
*hiding a bad hair day can be hell on wings *
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
*because " lip " was already taken ...again and again ...*
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
*product comparison still rules our capitalist society*
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
* I refuse to answer this flat out racist question *
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
*after the rapture...*
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
*hunger is the best sauce*
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
*because the advert said it picks up everything and they wouldn't lie to ME *
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
* because static cling isn't your friend and never was ,so deal *
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
*osmosis*
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
*because food fights are no reason to spend time inna slammer *
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
*keep that talent at your house,K? *
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
* Ppl R Freaks*
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
* Misogyny is still alive and thriving and knows no socio-economic distinctions*
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
*Is that what the pixies told you ? Cuz that wasn't the 411 I heard.And I'm in the loop.*
posted by: Barnabus1 (reply)
post date: 09.28.07 (5:18 pm)
I must say you've come up with some good answers for those questions!!!Thanks!
posted by: consciousphobic (reply)
post date: 10.01.07 (2:08 am)
Great Answers! I like Ppl are Freaks!
posted by: ggirl (reply)
post date: 10.02.07 (10:26 am)
I used to think that if I pushed the elevator button several times, the elevator would come sooner. Duh.
Love your new look!