Fright Night
I will get more blood tests back in the next day or two.
I am so scared that something is wrong with me.
I have always been a worry wart.
Since Tom was killed , it has amplified triple fold.
I see vast scenarios of doom and destruction around every corner .
It's just a routine check to see if my iron count is going up, and to see if there are any issues with the diuretics I have been taking.
The new bp meds worked like a charm today.My blood pressure was totally normal for the first time in several years.
I just wish I could be doing it sans pharmacological assistance.
My inner chihuahua is on drugs
for now ...
So even though I feel dread sliding up from pit of my stomach ,my bp isn't able to respond , keeping the nervous yipping at a slightly lower decibel.
posted by: judypatooote (reply)
post date: 08.17.05 (12:02 am)
Sometimes its best to just turn your mind off, when it comes to worrying. It was hard after my husband died, because it was the first time I had to make decisions by myself....and it was when everything seemed to breakdown....worry, worry, about everthing.....even my health was a worry....mom and dad both died from cancer....then when my granddaughter Ali died I just had to turn my mind off, as to the other grandkids...because when I turn it on I am so afraid something will happen to one of them.....and it's pretty scary....so every once in a while my mind will travel to the worry mode, and hey, turn it off, nothing you can do about any of it. I know it's easier said than done.. Pretty fancy dog you have their....lol
posted by: apyjo (reply)
post date: 08.17.05 (2:53 am)
Judy, thanks for the words of wisdom.:)
That dog is from a Horchow catalog!
They also have another little dog in their catalog with this crazy feather hat that is a riot !
I have been telling people that I have an inner chihuahua....always nervous and yipping !
posted by: Outlaw (reply)
post date: 08.17.05 (4:11 am)
I think it is pretty much a given that widowhood gives us that heightened sense of "it could happen to me, too." Our confidence in so many areas blows right out the window.
Jim used to tease me the first years of our marriage that he never had to worry about anything because I worried enough for both of us.
It's hard to turn those voices off when they begin banging around in our brain. But, we must learn to at least turn them down a notch or drive ourselves more nutters than we already are.
Take some heart in the fact that you are doing all that you can to maintain your health. Beyond that we have no control.