April's Ramblings,Scrambling&Amblings

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here in New England  , and I'm allergic to it.

*Sigh*

I spent the last week  with two arms  full of allergy testing needle jabs, and the numbered  circles  look like some sort of strange tribal markings.

Nobody told me about the hurtiness of those  effers.

Some of the substances burned going in like  you wouldn't believe.I was near to cursing a couple of times.

Hey, I'm no pansy ..I gave birth  without any drugs back in the day .

We did  dust , cats, dogs , and of course the  trees.

I have grasses and molds left to test .

It's a given that I am allergic to  all of them,it'll be the degree that 's the mystery.

At this rate I'll be the lady in the bubble...     

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I passed my heart test with flying colors.

 Color me  relieved !

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 ...the lilac tree finished blossoming !

The smell is divine.

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Friday , that's 5 days from now, marks the day I get my first  cardio ultrasound.I've had an ekg before ( I struggle with hypertension ) , and that checked out fine.

When I went for a checkup  last week at the local integrative  wellness center, a systolic heart murmur  was diagnosed for the first time in my life...

 I am nearly mad with worry.

I have never  been told I had one , soooooooo, this sucker is new.

 I also found out that I have a lot of muscle  in this portly , fat body.

I have lost weight ( I work out  6 days a week with various  types of  exercise) recently  ,but  I still eat too much.

I use to be a yo-yo dieter , and a binger /secret eater  in my 20's.

It's only more recently that I understand my connection to food  , emotions  and portion sizes.

It's not a cheeseburger ,soda & fries  junk inna trunk--it's just too  many calories on a small frame.

I donated  several vials of blood for every sort of testing under the sun.

I'm thinking my thyroid may be  off somehow , because I just work too damn hard  to have it be this slow of a weight drop.

I also had myself tested for food allergies  ( if cheese is on the avoid list I might have to advocate insurrection) , and a comprehensive thyroid panel.

Pear shaped women are on my Dad's side of the family, so it's a predisposition , but still, I need to get  fitter.

I want to drop 60 lbs over the next  year or however long it takes , and I hope  that I get a chance to do it.

My husband got diabetes  in the 3 years before he was killed , and he struggled with high blood sugar  .he was 11 years older, his family had a history and he  had a  big  tummy !

I tried to help him, but he was stubborn and controlling his food was hard on him.

I've always been ok blood sugar wise , because despite being overweight I am not sedentary.My parents don't have it, but my Dad's Mom had it and so do 2 of his sisters.

The weight takes it toll though , and so  I have to be more assertive in order to make my future less  complicated.