Blog Block
Just blanking on what to blog about these past two days.
I mean , life goes on whether I chronicle it or not.As I sit here in front of my monitor with dirty glasses , a warm robe and a severe lack of coffee:countries are being run, novels written , folks gettin it on , babies seeing the light of day , people leaving this world behind ,reruns of "Gilligan's Island" are still being broadcast into space , human misery keeps it's global grasp official, rap still has the music industry by it's cahones , stars are dying in the universe ,weird Hollywood marriages are still on display , an older supermodel* is having her laugh lines erased digitally for the magazines, and of course , Colin Firth is still in the clutches of that evil temptress Italian wife of his.
Bitch ! 
* she's 25 ! 
Archaelogical Dig
Storm Clouds Rumble
A torrential downpour came down for hours today.
Made the roads towards Houston alot clearer, so that was an added benefit.
I am feeling really quite restless lately.
I go to college twice a week ,write poetry every few days, read it once a month to total strangers and am getting my stuff published in the college's creative journal again this semester.
I am finding a multitude of other creative outlets .
Cooking, mosaics , and graphic design projects.
I find that I still want something more , but can't put my finger on it just yet.
I guess I still struggle hard to fill that void that Tom left behind.
Being part of a couple for over 20 years makes for some serious adjustment difficult ies .
On one hand I want to be in a partnership again, but on the other I want something that I make for myself first .
Tom got me so young , I was so "unfinished".
Who I am today reflects our love , my maturation and provides the basis for some of my current choices .
But there is so much more to me...
New Traditions
Another Thanksgiving Without Him Rolls By
Tom's unexpectedly early departure from our lives and then moving in with my parents marked the past three years with the forcible changing of our holiday traditions .
The first 2 years being the hardest by far.
This one's for you, Tommy:
You Use To
drop the turkey
twice
on special holidays
glaze the ham
with stubborn certainty
that lime chutney was
just the ticket
sterno steaks
brought
your short lived
grilling career to a
screeching halt
not to be outdone
by the
half- cooked goose
with New Year’s champagne
what I wouldn’t give
to see you
greasing
the kitchen flo or
with poultry
again .
Victim of My Own Cooking Brilliance
No T-Day dishes or clean-up for me again on this upcoming All-American Gorge-a-Thon, or worrying about the dog stealing greasy ;poultry snacks ;or wrecking the remainder of the carpeting !
Of course, this pleasure is about 25 bucks a person at the South Shore Convention Center Hotel , but it's well worth it.Tonight , however , there's a bone in -pork roast that's gotta be fixed and begs for a complimentary bed of herbed red potatoes and carrots .At least it's a one pot meal...If I wasn't such a praise strumpet , I would be forcing Dad to eat a nuked pouch of chili today. He goes on about some of my meals to his entire PR office at NASA , I have heard ... 
Kitchen Drudgery Summons Endlessly and Other Rantings
Attn:
Those of you that don't want to see rantings about Parental Units, should go somewhere else to read today !
Now that Ma's gone back to Germany for a few weeks,the house is mine again.
And all that entails.
More meals and helping my Dad out the door 5 mornings a week .
For all the gingko he buys ( and the vast amount he spends on high quality supplements ) , his memory sure can be iffy.
Mom says he's been like this forever.
He's not actually getting worse.
Yesterday I was practically chained to the kitchen sink & stove-top/microwave.
Steff helped with the dishes , but Dad never really does.
Except Sundays when we wait for his crepes for half of the morning .
If I were making them they wouldn't take that long, and there'd be less mess.
But I want him to contribute, and I want him to explore his creative cooking side.
When my mother's here she guards the kitchen like a soldier.
She's not all that tidy herself, but she's a drill sergeant if things are not to her liking.
It's so annoying.
My Dad has this knack for remarks that are so unnecessary and negative, which he somehow finds "humorous."
Yes, I curse the great spark plug for making this situation last way too long.
I want my house investment back ( so does Steff) and then we need to be separate but nearby.
This is too much after 3 years.
I feel that their support is beginning to cost me too much financially and emotionally .
I try not to let Mom's tyranny and Dad's unyielding POV spoil my life, but sometimes I just want it all to be smooth with no tricky undercurrents threatening to pull us all down into the mire all the time .
The problem is that Steff and I don't know where we want to be.
So we'll make another move with my parentals and then see .
I have to find a way to deal with them.
They are both over 60, and frankly I can't see them changing positively any more.
Personality changes that late in life are rare, I believe, outside of illnesses .
Which I don't want them to suffer obviously.
I do love them, but I am remembering why we only visited every summer...
Sometimes Ya Gotta Stop And Smell
Suburban Retail Jungle Jaunt
I decided to go with my parents this afternoon to the Baybrook mall to do some serious camisole shopping.
After making my way through throngs of badly made-up cosmetics sales ladies pressing samples at me in Foley's , I finally arrived at the Lane Bryant store front.
The place was laden down with loads of spanking new merchandise and teeming with rich colors.
I walked away with only 2 camisoles and some BoHo styled tops for Steff.
They still need some new clothing designers there.
Most of the cuts are too boxy, short, busy patterns and too sheer for this pear- shaped gal.
Also most of the staff wear clothes that are at least a size too small & short .
Today's cashier was like a free peep show as her breasts stuck out of her cami way too far.
And the shirt on top was way too tight as well.
The good news was that I went down a size.
The bad news, the price stayed the same ....
Winds Of Change Heading Our Way ?
My Dad put in for a position at the Dept of Justice in VA a few weeks back .
They want a phone interview with him.
Is this it ?
That is such an irony to me as we head towards year 4 of Tom's unsolved murder.
There will be alot of work in moving ( there always is) , but it will free up money again when we sell the house plus we will get a chance to be out of the same house as my parents.
Close by but separate.
After the troubled week we had recently , that may be just the ticket.
I couldn't have dealt with a move back east again until just recently.
The memories chased me mercilessly.
Today I am thankful to be able to possibly return to places that once held joy and love for me.
This Is Why I have Holes in My Ears
I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ dichroic glass earrings & pendants !
The colors, the textures and the luster fascinate me utterly.
Do I want to learn how to make it ?
Not at this point..yet.
All Hallow's Eve Revisited
Freaky orbs and neighbor's house ( Hello Ghost Hunters, on SciFi channel)
Our very own psycho fortune teller ( aka candy distributer)
Evil incarnate
( and there is still some left)
Freako Father wearing fashion don't
( he hadn't had dinner yet either)
Petrified Birthday Blogger