Cramped Desks and Scholastic Strivings
We went back to college yesterday.
Steff drove us .
We had to park out in the boonies of lot 13 , walking in the scorching dang blasted Texas late morning sun back and forth several times .
Gawd I hate the summer weather here.
Philosophy class is in the older part of the campus, a small room with old high school type desks.
The instructor was already fascinating on the first day.
* The gray hair and his inital demeanor gave nothing away of his intensity or passion to teach once the class started rolling*
I think I will learn alot from him.
He has to hold your attention , so you can forget the shoebox sized classroom and all the 20 year olds behind you looking glazed over...
Going Boho, Sorta
*
A little collage I made for you...
In real life I am alot less garden gnomish ( no, really) , and much,much thinner as well...
All the fashions pictured above are available at Target and Soft Surroundings.
* For those of you who go your own merry fashion ways...Boho is short for Bohemian !
I feel a Queen song coming on....
Scaramouche, Scaramouche can you do the fandango ?
The Fashionistas Have Spoken...
Gaudy is out, Boho is in.
Tuff transition for moi.*pout*
I tend to go for eye-popping 2 color ensembles with flashy earrings.
* jewel tone color tops ,matching cami , dark or light pants topped with shiny bead , or glass earrings *
I find long frilly sleeves are cumbersome fire hazards and sauce moppers.
No, I can't go Boho all the way.
However , I can handle fringes , and dangly jewelry with ease ...
* The 70's find their way out of the recesses of my bean yet again *
I try to incorporate newer trends in my wardrobe whenever feasible , translation: they accommodate my Venus v. Willendorf body type.
How trendy can you be with an @rse that could be rented out for advertising space ?
Half Boho is better than half Hobo , I suppose...
Once Upon A Time
We went to visit Chesapeake Beach, MD from the home we were selling in Falling Waters ,WV in the winter of 1996, to see where our future rental home could be.
We ate a delicious seafood lunch at the Rod-n-Reel and drove around the area.
It was still pretty cold by the water , and we all had a good feeling about the place after we left. A new area with a fresh start sounded exciting.
We ultimately wound up not moving there, but to nearby Huntingtown in early 1997 , and then moved on to Port Republic in early 1999.
We went to the Rod-n-Reel another time after that with my parents when they came for a visit , but the final time was for Tom's memorial dinner.
His brother's who had come out from Spokane were also there ,as was my Dad's family from the Toledo area .
It was a cloudy day in late July 2002 ,and we all wandered around the boats for Tom's sake.
He so loved to look at boats , plus he liked that beach and restaurant even though we hadn't alot of eating out funds available to us over the past few years .
My Dad's younger sister Marilyn kept annoying us by snapping pictures throughout her stay .
Not that I really wanted a remembrance of those exact moments of shock and pain in the the weeks following Tom's murder .
She treated it all like some strange photo op social event it seemed to me.
That camera came out of her purse like Quick Draw McGraw , every time we all got together during those initial weeks after it all happened.
She also did her own thing stylistically while attending the memorial.
She wore tie-dye t-shirt and a side pony tail to the service.
I don't really know her well ,and I was so busy holding it together, that I never really said anything to her about her odd behavior .
There was a terrible storm that ravaged that beach a year or so later , that did alot of damage to the restaurant .
It's Sunday , and every Sunday I stop and think of him.
He died on a Sunday afternoon .
Everything was quiet and normal all that Sunday as we went about our daily business ,until after supper , when the world as we knew it began to collapse.
I cannot pass a boatyard without thinking of him in both his living years with us , and the end , which are now firmly tied together.
There Oughta Be a Law...
Tawny Aged Port Wine & Italian Cinnamon Chocolate are a devilishly decadent and devastatingly delect able twosome.
I had been a good girl most of the week , and allowed myself this scrumptious topper for the evening.
I have no regrets.
Color Me
Every morning in the spring and summer ,
I wake up to the most delightful display of color
sprinkled across my ceiling, floor, walls , bedspread and even on me.
I love my bay window and I particularly love that arched top window.
In the late afternoon the rainbows come back again ,
encased in a golden glow , but I am rarely there to enjoy it.
This house and the garden are filled with colored light.
The rainbows have taken up residence, and I heartily welcome them .
It seems not so long ago that my world had turned a muddled charcoal gray .
Dog Couture Run Amuck
I know it takes all kinds of people to make this world the place it is...but this takes the cake in my book.
So says the lady who pastes words on styro wigheads and writes poetry about her dog in her spare time !
"Where's The Beef ", She Bellows ?
All my tests came back good, except the iron again .
I am still not raising the count fast enough .
How much beef, buffalo , spinach, raisins and supplements can one gal choke down ? :?
I have fought with anemia on and off all my reproductive years.
When I was pregnant with the twins 20 years ago, I had serious problems .
I think that 's what may have killed them ultimately.
* I lost them at 7 months along * :(
I couldn't keep my iron count high enough.
I have always been pale. I have quite a bit of Viking- Celt blood in me.
Think of zesta saltines topped with Brie , and there ya got my skin tone.
After I have been in the sunlight ...sprinkle some wheat germ on top.
Then if I am out longer than say 30 minutes...smear that zesta /brie snack with some cranberry jelly .
I need alot of rosy cheek powder to look alive , that's a fact.
The best make-up I have found for my skin is Bare Escentuals brand.
This stuff rocks. My skin laps it up , and I feel like a glowing princess.
Make believe was never so shimmery.
Gotta go for now, grazing time beckons...
Freak Out Poetry Jam , Social Statements & Wine Revelations
I read 3 poems last night at Barnes & Noble.
It was a great feeling , as both laughter paire d with applause greeted my spoken words and fed my soul .
My nerves jangled as I got ready to be heard:
Posing by the podium.
Yup, I am a poser...my truth is now known to the masses..
Me practicing my stunned mullet look.
Earlier in the day I had picked up my rejected "found art aka recycled items"work from the art center.
Here is this crazy piece that assaulted my noggin until I made it the other night:
The things that rattle around in your bean...
I ended the night with 3 sips of this fabulous Chilean Wine to celebrate my minor victory over a wee bit of stage fright.
Château Ste. Michele 2001
Columbia Valley Merlot
Rich raspberry notes, that glide down your throat with a warm swirl , leaving you mostly fulfilled, longing for just one more sip of toasty pleasure.
A Watched Phone
Never &*^%$#@ rings.
I guess my styrofoam wighead social statement art piece didn't get selected for exhibiting.
Aah, the sting of my first abject artistic failure.
Why was I tormented with this strange vision to have it wind up forlornly perched on my bar ?
A really weird conversation piece.
* So, how much decoupage glue did you inhale while you were creating this ,uh, piece?*
Wonder if it could double as a cheese h'ordeuvre holder ??!
Now I know how Stefanie feels when she is not selected to exhibit.
Uppity gallery folks.
Don't they know quality when they see it ( ok, maybe they do) ...
Perhaps it is time to start on the new project .
This involves garden gnomes , and the rest is top secret.
Hey, I don't know you well enough to share my brain toots with...
Rogues Gallery
1963-65 with my Mom
1978,79 & 99
1980/81 Yearbook
1999 with daughter
2004
I turn 42 this October.
Various snapshots I have scanned in over the years ,
always interesting to see the progression of years in one's face..
Sucky Haircut & Smack Down Dreams
Here I am sporting my new do (way too short) ,
and demonstrating how I like to speak softly and carry a big mallet !
*So watch yourself *
It looks like it should be faux fur-lined and sprinkled with rhinestones !
I actually used it to do some stuff in my garden the other day .
See , I do go outside in this flaming hot weather .
It was around 6 PM , so I just glistened a bit...
Fright Night
I will get more blood tests back in the next day or two.
I am so scared that something is wrong with me.
I have always been a worry wart.
Since Tom was killed , it has amplified triple fold.
I see vast scenarios of doom and destruction around every corner .
It's just a routine check to see if my iron count is going up, and to see if there are any issues with the diuretics I have been taking.
The new bp meds worked like a charm today.My blood pressure was totally normal for the first time in several years.
I just wish I could be doing it sans pharmacological assistance.
My inner chihuahua is on drugs
for now ...
So even though I feel dread sliding up from pit of my stomach ,my bp isn't able to respond , keeping the nervous yipping at a slightly lower decibel.
Trigger Sad
Watching Dr Phil this afternoon ,a couple was talking about their relationship and I heard the husband say how glad he is now to come home to his family everyday .
And then the comment was made how when the family is all together as a unit every evening, everything is right with the world ...
My eyes teared up as I remembered the last time we were all together was July 13th, 2002.
My mind played the sound of our car pulling in the driveway on the gravel and Tom yelling "Helloooooo, I'm home " up the stairs as he came in the front door .
How sad I felt for Steff and I that we would never hear those words , or feel the joy of him with us in the same room ever again.
Three years have now passed,every time I think I have hit a stronger emotional level ; I fall down ,have to pick myself up ,dust myself off and hope that I get a little reprieve from the next memory trigger .
& nbsp; &n bsp; &nb sp; &nbs p; ; & nbsp; &n bsp;
Flaming Tables and A Mother's Love
2004
My daughter's acrylic painting called "Ichiban Orange".
After a hibachi meal at Ichiban's in Kemah , she sketched this goldfish from the tank behind us.
She painted this in a little more than an hour a few days later .
Then turned it in for painting class.
It's on a huge canvas .It hung in her college's library all summer last year.
She is actually an illustrator, so this was a new medium for her.
I am one proud Mama !
PS I am also mad for edamame & I love to see flaming food...
Whether it be a creme brulee caramelized with a mini torch , or an entire table on fire with food performing reminiscent of a circus act !
Tick Tock Time Flies By
in the wink of an eye.
While I wonder about my future, how do I live through my present and do it well ?
Meaning, don't think about what will be , but what already is.
Live for now and don't bank on tomorrow.
I am very guilty of forward living.
It's been a horrible lifelong habit.
So today I spent time time cataloging my poems .
I have written 43 since January.
I am still working on 3 currently.
I usually write down word pairings that strike my fancy,then couple them and before you know it , a poem has been born.
The yard under the new lawn company's talented care looks splendid.
I put my star solar lights back up again , and even on a moon-less night the ; colors were beguiling and perfectly matched to Sarah Brightman's singing as I swam last evening .
Sophie surveys her domain.
The Path Takes Another Turn
Charlottesville is out. :(
We found that out last night during dinner.
My daughter woke up this morning and said that she wouldn't mind going to Germany if fate takes us there.
So now we know that Dad has put in for jobs in Kaiserslautern, and Heidelberg.Also a much coveted position in his field is supposedly opening in Garmisch-Partenkirchen later this year.Just a few days before , this would have provided us with alot of trepidation.
Last year after our vacation in Germany , she decided she didn't want to live there anymore.
Since we hitched our wagon up to my parents after Tom died 3 years ago , we have done alot of learning and compromising.
We are in the midst of great change here again I think.
Steff's school money ran out ( actually 2 months early ,but if I look for it-they'll ask if she's in school and she isn't until the 30th of August plus it's not 9 credits this semester), she's on her last semester for awhile and she is getting her driver's license .
She is also looking for her first job later this year.
If we move to Germany , we will both have to work on base ( 20 hours a week) to get an ID card.
We are too old to be classified as my Dad's dependent's and receive any base benefits.
I am currently still in school trying to finish my Associates Degree in Art,that I stopped working on back 20 years ago.
I haven't worked since Tom's murder.
Initially we moved every few months during all the confusion , my Dad's assignment to NASA and then finally settling in here 2 years ago.
I don't have to work , which is something Tom did for me in the event of his death .
So I have been able to concentrate on healing from his violent death by immersing myself in school, and the arts.
Right now I am working on a children's story and am writing poetry every week.
My poetry was a big hit at my college's creative writing course.
I was published in the lit magazine.
That was quite a thrill.
Very surprising too.
I never thought I had non-rhymin g verse in me.
Now we wait for the direction that the wind is going to blow us.
I am use to this dance, but the waiting is always torture .
Mixed Bag
We are still waiting for news of a possible move. :?
Now that the shuttle has landed safely ** , and that excitement is over , school is coming at us soon...a little clarity would be a good thing.
I am still working on the wig head art idea , and writing poetry every week .
The new yard company we hired is coming to take care of our weed explosion the other company left us hanging with, tomorrow .
I also have a mosaic class on the 20th that I am really looking forward to.
I promised my friend Gwen that I'd make her a ladybug stepping stone for her yard , and this class is the last one for a few months .
I will be seeing her for lunch on Thursday at this South American restaurant on Nasa Road One .
The "Full Rodezio", here I come !
That will be the only meal I eat that day .
* Strap on the feed bag and keep the grilled meats & fruits coming !Their salad bar ain't nothing to sniff at either .*
My blood pressure reading was higher again today.
I am still eating less, exercising more ,taking all my supplements and my medicine but it's still not consistently low .
I am going to get my iron count checked next week .
On the plus side, Bare Escentuals "true gold" eye glimmer looks positvely stunning on my eyes !
Yup. Nothing better than eye-make up that doesn't put you in line for a job at the circus !
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**My father works for NASA in Houston, Public Relations .
Sucked into a Soap Vortex..Again
I caught myself watching "Days of Our Lives " again after a two year hiatus last night.I have been avoiding watching daytime television ( except for the occasional HGTV show or Dr.Phil ) purposefully for a long time now.
Well, actually I have been spied watching "East Enders" late at night on PBS.
Even though I don't always catch what them Brits are exactly saying..
I was sucked in by wondering how Chloe and Brady were last night .
I waited for that couple to get together for 3 years.
They weren't even on that episode, darn it.
At least I don't watch Lifetime??!
I mean, how many movies about amnesia can you watch ?
Ya gotta mix things up with a little demonic possession, aliens and twins ,dontcha know ?
I Wish I Just Didn't Care..
...what others think.
But usually I do.
OK, I am a sorry *ss liar.
I always care.
Whenever stuff happens in person -to- person communications, I try to figure out what I did wrong.
I never think it's anyone else's issues.I just naturally assume I am at fault.
This makes me a patsy for manipulators I guess.
Those who know my tender spots.
I blame my parents.
They are convenient and currently live with me.
What About Love ?
I miss love in my life.
I miss a partner.
I miss warm flesh against mine.
I miss eyes looking into mine with that spark.
* Sigh*
Rebel Without A Cause
Simple Desire
I wish I looked like my Sim...
>>>>>>Not the Gnome , silly ! <<<<<<
PS My daughter plays the Sims. She made Sims of our entire family .
Chocolate Taste Testing & Wig Heads
I would like to take this post to recommend "Chukar Cherries "
to those of you out there who love both dark chocolate and cherries.
The 4 pieces I allowed myself to nosh on were in a class by themselves.
Today I am thinking of submitting a recycled or found item art piece to a local art center.
It's basically a wig head with some ,eh, alterations.
That's all I will reveal at this time .
Same voices that talked to me into ABBA CD 's , want me to do installation art it seems.
A new avenue of expression appears before me without much warning.
I have till August 20th to perpetrate my vision on
the greater Clear Lake community.
"
"My Bloom in Bedroom" pic
Caffeine Of My Dreams
Being such a lightweight as far as certain substances go ( alcohol & caffeine), always boggles me because of my size.
I am not dainty.
I was once, before my gluttony for all edible matter savagely surfaced in my mid 20's.
Thyroid ,sugar and cholesterol tested over the years was always in working order.
My blood pressure remains a problem though.
My Achilles heel with the weight.
* Besides the Venus von Willendorf shape ,natch*
I suppose I am simply a person who should live on air and mung beans .
I am not sedentary .*My pedometer tells me this*
I have exercised regardless of weight/dieting for 9 years.
My last blood test revealed extremely low iron levels and a high inflammation level.
I do have chronic allergies.
My blood sugar wasn't as low as before either .* It was still normal , but higher than previously *
Fearing a painful death,I took steps to make this life fuller and possibly longer .
Less food, more supplements , more exercise and more regular visits to an MD.
So all this time I thought I just needed more caffeine, I actually needed steak.
Mortality rears it's ugly head.
Inner Voices & ABBA
I was cruising amazon.com , and thought to myself that I could really use a compilation album of ABBA's greatest hits.
Yup.
Some people have visions of world peace.
I on the other hand ,have the need to fill my CD rack with 70's music.
The 70's were good to me & all my cassette tapes have disintegrated .
I had drug -free, traveling teen years set to a shallow dance pop soundtrack .
My most coveted Muppet's school folder , "Pigs in Space !" sits beside me today as a reminder of school daze gone by .
My wardrobe was filled with platform shoes, flavored lip gloss , fringed flares and an intense desire to wake up one morning and have Farrah Fawcett's do looking back at me in the mirror instead of the golden straw cow-licked page boy I actually owned .
But I can't deny the pull of memories that hit me when I hear "Knowing Me , Knowing You".
I didn't know what life had in store for me back then.
Now I am part way into that unknown future .
Only the music can get me back to a safe place again.